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Top Ten Benefits of a Tall Mate
OK, so here’s the deal. I have always
been attracted to tall, dark, handsome men. It also helps if they are smart,
witty and laugh at my jokes. Let me clarify, when I say tall, dark and handsome
I’m talkin’ 6’2”+, darker brown to black hair, brown eyes and skin that doesn’t
turn red at the mere mention of “sunshine.” I think my attraction…ok, ok, let’s
call it obsession, dates back to sixth grade when I had a painful crush on my
dreamy 6’6” English teacher. Every romantic interest since then has looked
eerily like Mr. Sanders. Eventually I ended up marrying his younger double.
I am, for the record, blond, fair skinned (I char at the mention of sunshine)
shortish (5’5”tall) with “athletic thighs,” that’s code for speed skater legs.
Naturally, when I decided it was time to get married I searched for someone who
was tall, dark, and handsome with skinny, long legs. Low and behold I found him.
We now have a super tall eight year old that wears skinny jeans (hallelujah) and
eats anything I cook. Oh happy day!
The top ten benefits of being married to a tall man, in my opinion are…..
1. I am a rare and delicate flower next to him.
2. He never asks to borrow my clothes.
3. Nefarious muggers leave us alone, no matter what neighborhood we’re in.
4. He can reach the top shelf in the kitchen where we store the rarely used
Christmas China and the stuff we don’t want the kids to see.
5. He carries a huge umbrella so when it’s raining I can tuck under his arm and
stay dry.
6. Besides watching basketball on television eating is his favorite sport, which
is mine too.
7. When Armageddon hits he will be able to carry my rare and delicate body
across the hot desert to safety.
8. In a crowded venue he can anticipate oncoming danger long before his shorter
brethren.
9. He spawns big kids who eat anything and everything I cook with enthusiasm.
10. Big hands, big feet, you know what they say… |
